Good Friday 2

Smoking Trail.

This is probably the last 'smoking' piece that will appear on my journal - regular updates of the 'where? and what?' will go onto the discussion board. I don't know if I'll be able to afford cigarettes this week - I've just bought every Sunday newspaper, and there are a lot of them. About ten days ago, I called to a bungalow in a 'middle of nowhere' not a million miles from my own 'middle of nowhere' cottage. The woman who listened to a song and bought a CD, was very interested when I told her about my smoking adventures. She also happened to be smoking in my workplace but it would have been churlish of me to object. She turned out to be Lynne Kelleher - freelance journalist and is, at least 50% responsible for my appearance in today's Sunday World, People, Star and Times.

I welcome comments on the discussion board, where somebody who calls himself, 'The Wise Old Man' sent me my first ever 'hate mail' on Good Friday. I must be doing something right. Anyway, speaking of Good Friday........

It's Good Friday again. 2004 this time. I'm in Killarney and, of course the pub are shut -unless you know the right back door, and the right knock. I don't but I'm feeling peckish. Hey, why not pay a visit to the Killarney Holiday Inn - yes, the very place where 'The Ansbacher Waltz' was written at the IMRO writing collaboration, all those years ago? Maybe the bar will be open for coffee - they do good coffee - and a sandwich. It is.

I'm being very good. I ignore the 'meaty' stuff on the menu, even the turkey and ham, and order a cheese and tomato, toasted. I'm not going to be that good though, when I finish my sandwich.

The place is quite busy with lots of families and I'm afraid I'm going to have to risk killing a few children with my cigarette - I hope they'll be happy to know that they died in the name of freedom.

I'm in a side room off the bar and the only other occupants here are one very serious looking couple and their toddler. Here's my sanwich - very nice too. Oh my God. I've just noticed that the female half of above couple is about seven months pregnant - and....AMERICAN.

People I've met along the way, ask me if the thought of a 3,000 euro fine doesn't worry me. I don't have 3,000 euro so why should it. To quote Kris Kristofferson - again - 'Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose' and I think that in our time of relative prosperity - or just easily available credit (thanks Linda Martin), a lot of people have far too much to lose to be free.

I do have nightmares though, about being under 24 hour surveilence by omnipotent 'smoke police' or environmental health officers - I heard them on Pat Kenny, on the radio and they sound mean - especially the female one. This is why I'm having my equivalent of Q put a chip in my engine to enable my Eunos to reach speeds in exess of 200mph AND deliver 60mpg - on unleaded*.

Sandwich was good and I've ordered a second cup of coffee and will light up soon.

What I do fear more than the EHO is that our wonderful government/dictatorship - without any decent opposition - have a bigger masterplan. They want to turn all it's citizens into an unpaid police force.

Here goes. Trusty fake Zippo almost failed but now I'm law-breaking again. 1,000,000 euro reward for capture of 'Billy the Cig' or 'The Cigcinati Kid' with smoking butt.

Halfway through smoke, couple are leaving - I think they were going anyway. The barmaid passed once and I don't think she noticed - it's amazing how invissible these deadly fumes can be - maybe I should have asked for an ashtray. I do tap my ash onto my cigarette box and not the floor - I'm not all bad.

Finished and left my usual card, on which I wrote 'smoked here on Good Friday', with the barman.

The day after the smoking ban came in, it was another branch of Holliday Inn complaining that they'd had two weddings cancelled by couples who chose alternative venues - across the border.

* Did you know that as long ago as 1990 it was discovered, by scientists, that the fumes expelled during the filling of tanks with unleaded petrol, are highly carcenagenic. The Swedes, who seem to care a lot their people, insisted that within a year or so, all filling stations install petrol pumps that suck these fumes form the cars tank while filling it And that, in the meantime, all pump attendant wear filtering face masks. Do any of our health ministers want to know about this?