It took me forty seven years to write this song. I wrote it in a bar called the Nice and Sleazy in Suchehall St in Glasgow. They have an open mic session downstairs there on a Monday night. It doesn't start till 9.30 so if you arrive at eight why not have a pizza upstairs and write a song while you wait.

The Nice and Sleazy Caledonia Blues

I got aboard the ferry the water was rough with people throwin' up all kinds of stuff
No duty free tobacco and no cheap drink, I just sat and prayed that the boat don't sink

I was goin' all the way to Caledonia, lookin' for a Highland fling
But going all the way in Caledonia just don't seem to be the thing

I did not mind the rain nor hitchin' in the dark, I woulda nae minded sleeping in the park
I really dug the haggis the tatties and the nepes, I did not mind the hostel where I got no sleep

I was goin' all the way to Caledonia, lookin' for a Highland fling
But going all the way in Caledonia just don't seem to be the thing

My back pack was heavy, my sleeping bag got wet and I hadn't even made it to the Highlands yet
The lifts came slow and the drivers went fast, I wondered just how long I was gonna last

I was goin' all the way to Caledonia, lookin' for a Highland fling
But going all the way in Caledonia just don't seem to be the thing

The women were sassy and that's a fact but I just don't seem to get in on the act
I'd like to wake up beside someone who talks that way but everyday just don't seem to be my day
I was goin' all the way to Caledonia, lookin' for a Highland fling
But going all the way in Caledonia just don't seem to be the thing

I did not mind the midges biting holes in my skin; I did not even fight them cause they're bound to win
But I get so frustrated being all alone if I get a lift soon I'll get the next boat home

I was goin' all the way to Caledonia, lookin' for a Highland fling
But going all the way in Caledonia just don't seem to be the thing
I was goin' all the way to Caledonia, lookin' for a Highland fling
But going all the way in Caledonia just don't seem to be the thing